i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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