Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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