He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
