I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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