My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
