I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
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She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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