we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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