yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
