Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
