Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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