Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
