Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
