I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
