sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
