why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Michael Bay diarrhea
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
wow bdsm is so cute
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
