so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
