I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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