i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
