just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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