Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
