ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
