Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
