So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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