I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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