4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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