I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
