He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
