No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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