he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
