A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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