carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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