I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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