There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
