Your tits are I can't wait for
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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