I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
