i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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