I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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