Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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