yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
