So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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