Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
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We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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