I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
