So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we made out on top of his cat.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
