he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
