dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
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I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.