The maid of honor just puked.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize