Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?