yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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