I wish i was in the wii world.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
