dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
