i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
