Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.