You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea