I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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