Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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