Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
