After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
