I smell stomach acid.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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