I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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