Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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