When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So here I am, sexting at work.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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