not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize