I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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