soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
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Bang-toberfest begins!!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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