They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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