awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
