YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
