I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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